My CCRM IVF Journey

Our successful journey through IVF #2 at one of the world's top fertility clinics

Recovering from Anxiety

Posted by auntiem10 on May 2, 2010

Sooo… last night I think I had a little bit of an anxiety attack! : ) My husband doesn’t really talk a lot about our upcoming cycle, except for things like logistics or tests. So I was surprised last night when he told me that he has been picturing us as a family of three. He’s very practical, and I wasn’t sure that he even allowed himself to think that far ahead. It melts my heart to hear him talk about us expanding our family because he will be the sweetest, most loving dad. But at the same time, my heart breaks because the situation is out of my control. I know that my infertility hurts him, and I hate that. He never blames me, but I know the pain is there.

I am a very glass-half-full type of person, but the stakes are so high this time around that a small part of me is worried like crazy. I am guessing all CCRMers feel the same way, considering the expense and time involved in the process. It’s been nearly a month since we were at CCRM for our one-day work-up, and I guess the unbelievable hope and magic we felt in Denver has faded a bit. I really think our chances are better at CCRM than anywhere else in the country, but they are not a magic bullet. Reading about others’ experiences has made this fact all too real for me.

Today, I’m back in control of my emotions. I’m going to try to keep my blog entry freak-outs to a minimum, but I’m guessing that last night’s post won’t be the only one during this process! : )

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3 Responses to “Recovering from Anxiety”

  1. R said

    Those freakouts are totally normal and we all have them. CCRM is a great place to cycle and for many it is that magic bullet, I hope it is for you.

  2. LC1 said

    I have those freakouts too, uggh! And you’re right last night’s post probably won’t be the only one during this process. It’s such a rollercoaster! Hang in there!

  3. Rambler said

    Oh yes….I feel that way too. So much time, so much expense on the cycle, so much expense on the out of town factor, so much emotion in that “this is our last chance” cycle.

    I know, I know, I know.

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