My CCRM IVF Journey

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BBQ Fears

Posted by auntiem10 on May 15, 2010

Tonight we are attending a barbeque, and I’m leery of a possible pregnancy announcement.

My hubby’s old high school buddy has earned his MBA, and we were invited to a celebratory BBQ. This buddy married his high school sweetheart. Another high school buddy attending tonight also married a girl from their high school. To put it mildly, I don’t have much in common with these two couples. They love to rehash their high school days, full of memories and inside jokes, and I usually sit there feeling awkward. I believe they think I’m weird because I’m so quiet–only, I’m really not very quiet at all; I just don’t have anything to add since I wasn’t there! Despite knowing these two couples for 4.5 years, I have never found my comfort zone with them. I find myself getting stressed over the mere idea of hanging out with them, but of course I don’t want to come between my husband and his longtime friends. I always just suffer through it for his sake, as bad as it sounds.

Both guys were groomsmen in our wedding in 2008, but we have seen them only a handful of times since. We live in a different part of the city, and our lives just don’t intersect often anymore. Meanwhile, the four of them live just a few blocks apart and are BFFs.

The last time we hung out, there was quite a bit of conversation about having babies. One of the girls, who is a teacher, has an exact plan. She wants to get pregnant in the summer of 2010, take her maternity leave in the spring of 2011, and then enjoy the whole summer with her baby. She has it all figured out and I am sure everything will work out perfectly for her. It always seems to work out that way for others in my life!

So I am going to be cringing a little bit more than usual going into this BBQ tonight. Of course, there’s a good chance that she might not be pregnant yet. I assume they are starting to TTC though, if they haven’t already. I am not close to either girl and know that I am going to have to plaster a big fat smile on my face when the time comes.

As if infertility doesn’t cause enough stress without having to worry about friends’ possible pregnancy announcements!

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3 Responses to “BBQ Fears”

  1. R said

    I guess I am somewhat of an expert on this! The best advice I can give is to prepare yourself that they ARE pregnant. It doesn’t come as such a shock when they announce. I always have a running list of possible pg announcements, so that I am usually never taken through a loop (I didn’t follow my own strategy this week though :().

    It is also important to make sure your dh knows what you need in terms of support for after the party. I tend to hold it together until we are alone and then I just cry it out.

    Hopefully you will be able to enjoy the BBQ and there will be no announcements!

  2. JL said

    R could not have said it better. I always tell myself “she” will announce a pregnancy today, it will be today at this event. Then I practice my smile and repeat what I’ll say even thought its just the words Congratulations, I’m so happy for you. How far along are you? It sucks, really. I am happy for the couple, but it makes me feel like crap. Hope all goes well…

  3. Hope your BBQ went well today. I had the same fears as I was invited for a BBQ today. But I totally lucked out. No kids AND no PG bellies/announcements!
    I hear you though. I dread being in a group of expecting/new mothers. I miss talking to the “old” them. All you are left with is just to nod your head and play along as you care about their secret-behind-no-diaper-rash stories! Sucks big time!

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