My CCRM IVF Journey

Our successful journey through IVF #2 at one of the world's top fertility clinics

Couldn’t Make it Up if I Tried

Posted by auntiem10 on February 15, 2011

This morning, I decided to stay home from work and rest. I received a call from my SIL (the one I wrote about yesterday), but I was feeling yucky and decided not to answer. She and I work for the same company (although in different buildings), so I figured she was calling to see why I wasn’t at work. A few hours later, I received a call from my MIL. I did answer that call because I thought perhaps they were worried that something was wrong. During that conversation, I found out that my SIL–the same one who gave me a guilt trip yesterday–had taken a home pregnancy test last night, and it was a BFP. She took the day off work and went for her blood test and is currently waiting on the results. Apparently she’s already throwing up and was wondering about which vitamin CCRM recommends to help with morning sickness (Vitamin B-6, for those interested). I had mentioned this on Sunday after being asked by a family member how I’m combating m/s.

Um, can you believe this turn of events?!!! My head is still reeling. I admit that I am a little bummed, because I was selfishly hoping that my DH and I could have the pregnancy attention for a while. We may never have this time again, and now I fear that we will be overshadowed. Plus, once again I feel the jealousy that comes when others in my life accomplish this feat so easily. (And yes, I consider one month of Metformin a pretty easy means to an end.) I do not wish a CCRM-like struggle on anyone, but jealousy and resentment toward fertile women is the scar that infertility has placed upon me. I am not proud of it, believe me. 

Wow, what an amazing change of events. I couldn’t make this up if I tried!


7 Responses to “Couldn’t Make it Up if I Tried”

  1. Wow… Amazing!!! Good for your SIL. I totally buy the whole jealously thing. Heck I would be pissed off and jealous too… after so many years… I would want the light on me too. But you know what, deep inside you know how difficult this journey has been for you and how much more you appreciate this pregnancy for that. And hey… you are having twins… so don’t worry, the attention light will stay on you guys at least for that. 🙂

  2. Josey said

    Oh my gosh… that is… well, crazy. As much as I wouldn’t wish infertile hell on anyone, at the same point, that jealousy is a very real thing for most of us. Hang in there…

  3. romik said

    Holy cow! You can’t write this kinda of stuff. I’m happy for your SIL, but I completely understand where you are coming from. Just remember, you’re having TWO babies!

  4. LetThereBeSims said

    I am stunned reading this post and my heart goes out to you because I completely understand your pain. Its bizarre how you were feeling so guilty yesterday about your SIL’s feelings and today she is casually asking you what votamin to take for Morning sickness. That is nuts! Just focus apon you and DH and tune evryone else for a while. You need to relish in this moment that you have been waiting too long for!!!

  5. Dee said

    I hope once the news has sunk in, you will be able to enjoy your pregnancies together and have each other for extra support. I truly understand how you are feeling with the jealousy part – it sucks. I hope everything goes well with her pregnancy, or else you could be in for some very hard times.

  6. LisainSK said

    No kidding Em…I’d feel the same way!

  7. LC1 said

    That is a crazy turn of events! I totally understand your feelings of jealousy and how you’d want to have the pregnancy attention to yourselves for a while.

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