My CCRM IVF Journey

Our successful journey through IVF #2 at one of the world's top fertility clinics

Reflection (14w6d)

Posted by auntiem10 on April 8, 2011

I woke up a year ago today in a Denver hotel room, knowing that my life had changed for better or for worse. The previous day, we had undergone the rigorous testing known at CCRM as the “One-Day Workup.” For us, the ODWU was life-altering because we left totally sold on CCRM and acknowledging that this would be our closure cycle. We just personally felt like we couldn’t keep halting our lives to save the money for treatment, and we wanted to cycle at the best and move on if it wasn’t meant to be. This is what I wrote in reflection about our ODWU experience on April 14, 2010:

I left his office feeling lighter than air! Locally, we were labeled poor responders, at high-risk of cancellation, victims of a biochemical pregnancy. At CCRM, we are “unexplained” and given excellent odds of success! For the first time ever, I honestly felt (and continue to feel) like we may actually conceive a child of our very own.”

The past year dragged terribly at times. Waiting until our bank account reached a high enough level to pay for a round of IVF with CCS testing and cover all travel expenses, getting canceled in August and having to start all over again because of a party-pooping cyst, waiting through the very long Depot Lupron treatment, gearing up for the FET. All of these long delays left me drained and struggling to cling to the hope I felt last April. And this is not even mentioning suffering through my SIL’s pregnancy and subsequent baby shower preparation. If I could have seen our future in a crystal ball, I imagine I would have slept a little better at night. But one year ago, all we could think was “What are we getting ourselves into?” I am so thankful for the way things transpired. Because the journey was full of roadblocks, I believe I appreciate it more.

Tomorrow marks 15 weeks. Every week that this continues still feels like a huge gift. On Wednesday, having gone more than two weeks without an ultrasound to confirm that things are still fine in my ute, I headed into my doctor’s office for a quick reassurance scan. I’m lucky that they are so understanding and will let me take a quick peek. The scan was very grainy, but we were able to make out both hearts chugging away and see a clear shot of one baby with his/her fists balled up. No obvious movement from either baby, but maybe they were snoozing. My nurse practitioner said my uterus is popping out exactly right for this gestational age (just below my belly button), and she predicted that I should feel movement within the next 2-3 weeks. I’m hopeful that feeling something will finally allow me to relax.


8 Responses to “Reflection (14w6d)”

  1. Pie said

    This post makes me smile! It has been quite a journey, and I’m so happy for you 🙂

  2. Josey said

    Agreed, it makes me smile as well. 🙂 So excited that everything worked out for you guys!

  3. 73goldie said

    We do encounter so many road blocks and we get tired and wonder if its all worth it. Stories like your story give us hope that it is all worth it! Thanks for letting us peek into your success!

  4. Cassie said

    It’s funny what can happen in a year, isn’t it? I often think of how far I’ve come in the last year- from lowest low to highest high. I’m so happy for you!

  5. LisainSK said

    It is SOO amazing what a year brings in the IF world?! Hope you feel some movement soon as the early 2nd tri is nervewracking until you feel movements. Take care!

  6. MyTwoLines said

    That’s why blogging is so great–you can go back and re-read exactly how you felt at certain points and compare! I’m so glad you have a happy comparison and got that reassurance scan! Hooray for movement soon 🙂

  7. R said

    So happy for you. Its amazing what happens in a year!

  8. Maggie said

    15 weeks! Yayy!!! Soon you will be feeling those babies!!!! So happy for you!

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