19w2d

Yesterday was a weird day. From morning until evening, I received phone calls or text messages from family and friends wishing me a happy “Mom-to-Be Day.” My husband gave me a card and a digital picture frame, on which I can display ultrasound pictures or other photos at my new job. We met my in-laws for breakfast and much of the chatter was about babies–our 3-month old niece was there, my SIL is expecting a baby in October, and of course we received attention ourselves. It is so surreal and strange to be a part of this “club,” and I would say that even at almost five months pregnant, sometimes this turn of events in our lives still doesn’t feel real to me. I’m not sure these feelings are normal, but they are what they are.

My heart ached yesterday when thinking of the pain I felt last Mother’s Day. Last year, my husband and I vowed to stay far away from all social networking devices and instead kept ourselves busy gardening and spending time together, and trying not to think of our infertility. In the evening, we held two adult beverages, and my hubby toasted to our wish of having a bun in the oven by this Mother’s Day. And despite our success in January, those feelings of sadness are never far from my heart or mind. I hope and wish that everyone reading this entry today will hold babies in their arms or their wombs by next Mother’s Day, either through adoption, treatments, or naturally. Thank you for reading.

Advertisements