My CCRM IVF Journey

Our successful journey through IVF #2 at one of the world's top fertility clinics

Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

Couldn’t Make it Up if I Tried

Posted by auntiem10 on February 15, 2011

This morning, I decided to stay home from work and rest. I received a call from my SIL (the one I wrote about yesterday), but I was feeling yucky and decided not to answer. She and I work for the same company (although in different buildings), so I figured she was calling to see why I wasn’t at work. A few hours later, I received a call from my MIL. I did answer that call because I thought perhaps they were worried that something was wrong. During that conversation, I found out that my SIL–the same one who gave me a guilt trip yesterday–had taken a home pregnancy test last night, and it was a BFP. She took the day off work and went for her blood test and is currently waiting on the results. Apparently she’s already throwing up and was wondering about which vitamin CCRM recommends to help with morning sickness (Vitamin B-6, for those interested). I had mentioned this on Sunday after being asked by a family member how I’m combating m/s.

Um, can you believe this turn of events?!!! My head is still reeling. I admit that I am a little bummed, because I was selfishly hoping that my DH and I could have the pregnancy attention for a while. We may never have this time again, and now I fear that we will be overshadowed. Plus, once again I feel the jealousy that comes when others in my life accomplish this feat so easily. (And yes, I consider one month of Metformin a pretty easy means to an end.) I do not wish a CCRM-like struggle on anyone, but jealousy and resentment toward fertile women is the scar that infertility has placed upon me. I am not proud of it, believe me. 

Wow, what an amazing change of events. I couldn’t make this up if I tried!

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New Blogs

Posted by auntiem10 on December 26, 2010

At this point, I (and my blog) are (hopefully!) nearing the end of this long journey, but others are just starting. Hopefully they will get from Point A to Point B more quickly than I have. If you are at the beginning of your journey, as I was last April, there are others out there who are just starting out as well. Their blogs are linked on the left side of this page, as well as below.

Little Diiorios

My Journey to Motherhood

The Infertility Road 

Wishing for the Gift of Life

And if some of you out there have your own CCRM blogs, feel free to leave me a comment with the link so I can add it to my blog roll! I’ve made some great friendships through this process, and it may help to know that you are not alone.

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Image Issues

Posted by auntiem10 on November 5, 2010

A blog entry published this morning, but something happened to the images I originally attached to it. I just noticed it here, at work, so I will have to reschedule my post on Rocky Mountain National Park. : )

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Weekend Away

Posted by auntiem10 on August 28, 2010

Today we’re leaving on a road trip to a city three hours away. We’re planning to visit some botanical gardens, go out for a fancy dinner at an Italian restaurant, and visit the zoo on Sunday. Those are our only concrete plans; the rest of our time away, we’re going to see where the road takes us. A petsitter is staying overnight with our four-legged friends, and they’ll be enjoying kongs filled with peanut butter while we enjoy ourselves. Win-win on all fronts.

With Denver looming in front of us, we didn’t want to go anywhere too expensive, but we felt like getting away for a few days. It’ll be a great way to pass the time while I wait for my progesterone check next Wednesday!

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At First Glance…

Posted by auntiem10 on July 22, 2010

At first glance, it simply looks like a big fallen chunk of tree in our front yard…

At second glance, you can see headlights sticking out…

View from the front…

View from the side…

Big ole branches… le sigh…

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Suspense is Over

Posted by auntiem10 on May 7, 2010

AF showed up in full force a couple of hours ago, so now I’m glad that I scheduled my Cycle Day 3 bloodwork. I never let myself seriously consider that I might be pg, so I’m not disappointed. If I ever do get a surprise BFP, I’ll be absolutely shocked. As crazy as it sounds, I’ve accepted the fact that my body just doesn’t want to get pregnant naturally. I know I can never say never, and I would be thrilled if it happens someday, but I certainly don’t think it’s productive to pin my hopes on a positive pregnancy test month after month!

My Cycle Day 3 bloodwork will be drawn on Sunday morning, and I’ll freeze it overnight and ship it out on Monday. That will be one more thing to check off the list! And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go curl up in a ball on the couch and wallow in my cramps. : )

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A Little Confused

Posted by auntiem10 on May 7, 2010

This morning I woke up to a lot of cramping in my pelvic region, so I thought AF was on her way. I used the restroom just before leaving for work, and there was pink on the TP, so I went ahead and scheduled my Cycle Day 3 bloodwork for Sunday morning.

Usually AF starts very lightly and innocently, and within eight hours I am in pain and bleeding heavily. Today is much different, so I don’t know what to think. By mid-day the bleeding tapered off. I didn’t bleed much at all, actually. However, I am still feeling crampy in my pelvic region.

What the heck? So far today is not following the pattern of a normal AF. I will have to wait to see if it picks back up this evening. And of course, my brain is using this situation as an excuse to convince itself that I might be pregnant. Ugh!

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On Board

Posted by auntiem10 on May 6, 2010

Yesterday evening, I received this e-mail from my CCRM primary nurse:

Hi “Auntie Em,”

I will run this by Dr Surrey, but I am sure that he would be fine with this plan.  We often have women go through a cycle and the do the depo-lupron for the transfer afterwards. 

So, it looks like CCRM is willing to go with our new timeline–Yay! The hubby and I both feel really great about our change of plans. In so many ways, this is the best timeline for us. And even though we’ll have to wait longer for the transfer, we will be giving my body the best opportunity to produce some good-quality eggs and then prepare my lining for some implantation action!

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Waiting Game

Posted by auntiem10 on May 5, 2010

Right now I’m just waiting for AF. Today is Cycle Day 32. Once it starts, then I can schedule my Cycle Day 3 bloodwork and have it shipped to CCRM. The results will fill in another piece of the puzzle and will lead to a phone regroup with Dr. Surrey during which he will discuss our timeline,  test results, and his recommended protocol.

Every month it seems like my body holds out on AF until I allow myself to start fantasizing about POAS and seeing those glorious two lines. This month, I refuse! We did take advantage of the timing of my LH surge, but I know better than to let my brain start wandering toward the possibility of a surprise BFP. I will not indulge my overactive imagination by taking a pregnancy test. Unless I start mysteriously throwing up in a morning sickness-type fashion, that is. : )

One year ago today, I found out that we had no embryos left to freeze after IVF #1. At that time, I was praying that AF would stay far, far away for about 9+ months. So it seems ironic that today, I am instead praying for AF to make an appearance! When I was 22, living it up in college, I never would have imagined that I would spend two Cinco de Mayos in my late 20s obsessing over all things infertility. My desperate hope is that by this time next year, we will be joyfully expecting a baby.

No answer yet from my CCRM nurse regarding the e-mail I sent yesterday asking for approval of our new timeline (see last post). I guess since we’re waiting until October anyway, there’s no big rush to respond. It would be nice, however, to know that they are okay with our plans. I don’t see why they would disapprove, since this timeline is the same one used by patients who do CCS testing on their blastocysts and who lack the beta-3 integrin. But I’ll feel better once I know for sure that they are on board.

I’m stuck in a waiting game. And for now, all I can do is bide my time.

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Friday Funny

Posted by auntiem10 on April 30, 2010

Earlier this week, I rounded up my two doggies and got them ready for our evening walk. While walking down the street, a little 4-year-old neighborhood boy ran over to pet them. Our 3-year-old Boston terrier got excited and started jumping on him a little bit. He exclaimed, “Hey Dog! Quit jumping on my ball sack!”

I burst out laughing; I couldn’t help it. He’s only four! However, my laughter did not faze him one bit. He knelt down and started petting both doggies. Our Boston terrier has a little bit of an affinity for crotches, so that’s immediately where her flat little snout went. He looked up at me, grinned, and yelled out, “Look! She’s sniffing my ball sack!”

I can only assume he heard this from his older brother. Maybe I should have told him that the phrase “ball sack” is a little inappropriate for someone his age. However, I was WAY too busy laughing hysterically!

It’s been a few days, and this memory is still making me giggle! : ) Yes, I know I am juvenile. : ) Kids say the funniest things!

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Just Added: CCRM Blog Roll

Posted by auntiem10 on April 27, 2010

I decided to add a blog roll to this blog, so that we CCRM patients–past, present, and future–can support each other. So far I have only linked to the blogs of a few CCRM acquaintances who already linked to this blog on their blog.

If you would like me to add your blog, please leave a comment! I don’t want to invade anyone’s privacy by randomly linking to the CCRM blogs I read regularly.

Thank you! : )

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